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nas-sue
Thursday, November 20, 2008
what am i?
i've been searching deep into my soul right now.
and i don't think i want to anymore. searching makes me feel unwanted.
my heart tells me to stop beating.
my head is telling me to not, because then i'll just be another dirt you'll step on.
then again, who am i to anybody.
if i just died,
i'd just be the girl at the back of the class you wished you knew better to stop me from doing a mistake.
but i am not tht kind.
i don't want to be.
can i not open my eyes any longer,
because it hurts to know that i'd be broken when i open my eyes,
each blink makes me realise that there is so much bullshit in this world.
get away from me, because i'm hurting.
it sucks to know that.
i'm hurting. i dont want to say it, not again.
i hate coming to school.
i hate myself for being like this even more.
why again.
why?
of all times, why?
god must love me so much to put me through this, he wants me to become stronger.
but all i can do is pray that all this will end.
you treat me so well.like i don't ever matter, then i just wished that i was never ever here in the first place.
i feel so CB now.
i've been searching deep into my soul right now.
and i don't think i want to anymore. searching makes me feel unwanted.
my heart tells me to stop beating.
my head is telling me to not, because then i'll just be another dirt you'll step on.
then again, who am i to anybody.
if i just died,
i'd just be the girl at the back of the class you wished you knew better to stop me from doing a mistake.
but i am not tht kind.
i don't want to be.
can i not open my eyes any longer,
because it hurts to know that i'd be broken when i open my eyes,
each blink makes me realise that there is so much bullshit in this world.
get away from me, because i'm hurting.
it sucks to know that.
i'm hurting. i dont want to say it, not again.
i hate coming to school.
i hate myself for being like this even more.
why again.
why?
of all times, why?
god must love me so much to put me through this, he wants me to become stronger.
but all i can do is pray that all this will end.
you treat me so well.like i don't ever matter, then i just wished that i was never ever here in the first place.
i feel so CB now.