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Friday, October 31, 2008
HONESTLY

like the bird who fell from the tree,
hitting the ground, stunned
it felt helpless and scared.
what if i died right here, right now,
i'd die silently, with no one i know around me.
a hand swept me up,
caressing me gently,
i don't want their sympathy,
but they were lovely to me.
they helped me stand up, from my stumble.
i was nervous, but they didn't mind.
they pardoned my behavior.
thats the story of the bird.
can i be that bird?
for all i feel now is suffocatingly empty
empty to the pit of my stomach.
where i don't see a thing
i'm mr invisible.
in my case, i'm just not there anymore...
i need honesty. but i'll need courage most.


right now, i feel so empty that i wished i could fly away.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008







WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE MAY OFFEND YOU!!!
AGGRESSION IS ADVISED.










fail owned pwned pictures
fail owned pwned pictures
fail owned pwned pictures
fail owned pwned pictures
fail owned pwned pictures
fail owned pwned pictures
fail owned pwned pictures
fail owned pwned pictures
fail owned pwned pictures
fail owned pwned pictures
fail owned pwned pictures
fail owned pwned pictures

WEDNESDAY'S




You Are Wednesday



Like this day of the week, you are ruled by Mercury.

More than anything, you are unpredictable.



You are witty and wise - but you are also easily bored.

You tend to be flighty and careless. You are unreliable at times.



In some ways, it's perfect that you match up with hump day.

You are always coasting downhill - even when it seems like an uphill battle.


Sunday, October 26, 2008



the photoshoot, was a success but it left an emptyness after everything. including me. i danced my way out before the makeover, but it came back feeling more intense then ever. how i wished i was ever all right, but then again, i went shopping and therapeautically, it was awesome! but i still felt empty. maybe its PMS.
girls have PMS all year round, so u cant blame it on our temper. (:

Wednesday, October 22, 2008
a tagged quiz

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. would you tell your secrets, if i asked you to tell a secret in truth or dare?>i would lie to you

2. would you love a younger guy? i would if its already fated to be.

3. Do you enjoy going to sch?->its a matter of perspective, so yes i like!

4. What would you do if you had a money tree? i would just plant it, because its just a plant.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend? i would try not to, because i'm afraid that it would destroy our friendship

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?-> both, because, you are contantly doing both at the same time.

7. List out a lyric you like alot -> "I' wanna have your Baby, it's serious but crazy!"

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?-> hmm weighing the options, he's just eye candy.

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?-> Yes...

10. What makes you angry?-> SAD PEOPLE!

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?-> be my own boss, and married

12. Who is currently the most important people to you?-> God, Family Friends!

13. What is the most important thing in life?-> Faith

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?-> Single and rich, so i can help the extremely poor, then i can get married to a good man,when we are career stabled, because married and poor, seriously, did you SHOTGUN?

15. What is your favourite colour?->ELECTRIC BLUE! AND CHERRY RED!

16. Would you give all in a relationship?-> if they give it all back...

17. If you fall in love with someone and hates someoneat the same time, and the hated secretly likes you,your gut tells you he likes you, what do you do?-> i would just IGNORE the person. because i dont question how metters of the heart works.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?-> i would forgive, but never forget, as these memories i will treasure when i become old and grey.

19. What do you want to tell the someone you like?->i would say, "i'm not good at saying what i feel, but i know i'm just glad that you're my friend..."

20. 5 people I have tagged: i dont want to, if u wanna do then do...(: because im stumped at who to pass this on to...

Sunday, October 19, 2008



WHILE WE WERE PLAYING SCRABBLE, WE CAME UP WITH THIS.LOOK AT THE LONGEST WORD. LOOK CAREFULLY AT THE WORD?(:

WHAT I FEEL RIGHT THIS MOMENT

I'M NOT SAD, I'M CONTENTED.
I'M NOT HAPPY, I'M ELATED.
I'M NOT SANE, I AM INSANE.
I SMILE BECAUSE I'M FREE,
I'VE GIVEN UP ON LOVE(LOVE) FOR NOW,
BECAUSE I HAVE PERFECTLY GOOD FRIENDS TO GIVE MY LOVE TO.
AND ALL I NEED TO DO IS KEEP THEM,

IN A JAR FULL OF PRESERVATIVES.

Friday, October 17, 2008

I LOVE YOU (: and thats only a small part of my journey

Thursday, October 16, 2008

i smile everyday knowing that some people will change today, for the better, but it turns into a frown when i go to bed, because everyday, i start to realise how screwed up some of us are.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008
HAPPY FROWNS








many things about me you guys don't know, but i prefer to take this burden off my shoulders.
i just hope, i can last through all this.
i put on a happy face everyday, only to turn it to a frown when i get to bed.






Saturday, October 11, 2008
my quote the sick incredible hulk


"no matter how much i seem to hate you, always know that i will always love you. when i leave, remember me and smile, not cry, smile because you know that i have always loved you.


i hope..."

.nas.
smile for me, because i smile everyday for you.


Friday, October 10, 2008
THAI SONG I N THE BACKGROUND TIS SO CUTE

okay...i'm suuperr bored!!! bored to my toes.
i tried to do many things to fill up my time, and succesfully, its night time now. but guess what? yes you're right, i'm still bored. even while i am blogging, i'm still bored. but it fills the time right, but technically it wastes unwanted energy...hmmm...to stop or not to stop....nah!

so yea i've stopped having red puffy eyes successfully for 24 hrs. it was about time i didn't cry. it just made me miserable.
who likes crying even? ooh i forgot, babies like to do that. but i think if they had a choice too, they would just shout or ring a bell, crying takes so much energy...listen to that babies, take my advice, next time you have the chance to, ring a bell instead of crying, saves precious liquid...YOU NEED TO GROW.

actually, i'm so bored right now that i am cracking lame jokes that only i laugh to,(and then my sisters laugh at me because i crack those stupid jokes or maybe its my laughter?)

I'M TRYING

i've cried too many times this year.
i've had too many good things happening,
as well as things that happen unexpectedly,
this is all fate.

i know some of you are counting.
but does it matter?
i'm thankfull that these tears came out this year.
it gave me a reality check.
so if your counting, go on,
dont stop
it will tell me how much i have loved you guys,
for giving me so much this year.

and it has told me that through this first semester,
i've learnt and experienceD a lot.
and that i've grown.
matured.
and be truthful to myself.

i've lost too many already.
it is time to patch things up back again.
i'm glad that i could have helped some,
and somehow just being there for you,
just supporting you and giving advice
tells me that i can be part of your lives,
be a good friend.


[to my dear friends: just know that whatever happens, i will support every decision you make, i wont be hurt. i will be the listening ear to you. i will do sacrifices that may potentially harm myself inside. i will tell you one day, that i know you lied to me, because you didnt want me hurt. i will tell you that i've liked you and hated you the whole time, but i will always love you. and the big net i have weaved i fill with hugs and kisses from you, knowing that i can take them one by one and know how much i have meant to you, and vice versa.]

i'm not good at telling people i love them, but i'm trying. i'm trying to be this.



You Are a Dog



You are ready to protect and defend anyone you love. You are incredibly loyal.

While you are protective and territorial at times, you are also quite playful and carefree.



You are compassionate, and you understand people well. You pick up on emotions.

You are eager to help people, and you are a natural best friend. You enjoy being around others.


Tuesday, October 07, 2008
DISTRACTIONS



totally said i was going to distract myself, and thus did.
so i did this to the shoe i was finished with...

not bad though.
at first

the previous

the modified bored now


taadaa. that is the biggest distraction of the day!



don't you dare worry about me guys. i'm sorry to have inflicted you all in this.
i just don't want to be sympathised. i want answers. that maybe i souldn't know.
people change.







can i forgive myself if i did this?










Sunday, October 05, 2008
MAMMA MIA!

MAMMA MIA FEVER

okay so this is the update, i wish my life was filled with these friends and my story is as sweet as mamma mia! okay so i don't think my life would be filled with the prospects of it being so dramatic till its a musical and a daughter who has 3 potential fathers... but a girl can dream can't she?

ps. i love my friends but they don't know how much.(:

PhotobucketPhotobucket
POTENTIAL RETARDS
Photobucket Photobucket
WOOHOO! 1,2,3,4,5,6 wednesday wednseday! where's jenjen?

Photobucket

JERITAN SEPI SR10

the affair with the cleaning uncle possibility (of the guy having the affair?)


Photobucket Photobucket

Photobucket Photobucket
MOZI CAFE, PLAYING UNO, COMFY.HOT PLACE. WE WERE SWEATING!

OKAY! THE END

I MEAN IT!(you can go blog hop now, there is no more!


REMINISCE

i remember the times when i was in my late grandads house. i miss those times and i miss the buzz about it. we used to sit till the late of the night talking and playing just being ourselves. and when it was dark enough, my grandad would open the tinsle lights klap-klip and we would be contented with that. it was simple. just how even the smallest of things can make you happy. i miss my late grandad now, even though i was never close to him. he was the only grandad i ever saw in my life. now i miss my late grandma and my nenek. my grandma used to bicker a lot with my late grandad, and the house was noisy. however my nenek was a funny woman who still didn't know that flashlights were not flames. nights in my nenek's house was filled with jokes, ghost stories and then a trip to the playground. scoldings from nenek, was always

"ei! nanti terbakar nanti bilik nenek! oi! jangan main api!"

translation: hey! later the room will burn down! don't play with fire!

it was a flashlight. but we just love her for her total randomness. i miss those hari raya days.

Friday, October 03, 2008
SECOND OPINION

i'm normal. for being me. and to feel this way.
although i need a second opinion, i shalt not ask what is to do with the feelings.

actually,you kinda know that it doesn't go away. not ever. you either get what i'm talking about or you don't. But what i am talking about now in this particular post is about L-O-V-E. yes, matters of the heart.

i know there are a few types of L-O-V-E.

love between God, family friends and of course mystery persons that you do not conceal here in blogs(*for own privacy sake.) here's a toat to all singletons out there who have loved ones in their hearts constantly having fun in their lives!(yam seng all you want now. 5 seconds to do that!).

so this is one thing that i want a second opinion about...

"if you love/like someone that much, will you tell, or keep it a secret till the time is right when you know you can escape from them after you tell them the truth."

F-U-N-! WHAT DOES IT SPELL? pink roses!!!!




Your Love Is Represented By a Pink Rose



You see love as something that should be light, fun, and whimsical.

People fall in love with you easily. And you tend to fall out of love easily!

You express your love through attention and shared experiences. You love people more than they realize.


Thursday, October 02, 2008
NEVEREND

SHORT STORY:

THE HUNK GOD. the way he swaggered through those doors left me speechless. he was breathtakingly good looking. his muscles that rippled through his shirt as he walked, the dimples in his cheeks as he smiled at everyone at the cafeteria. that was the first time i met him. it was love at first sight. or maybe lust at first sight.

i kept having intimate fantasies about him. even up till a point of daydreaming about him during classes. but wat would he see in me? i'm ugly, and invisible, while he's mr popular and suave. oh god why did it always have to be this way?Steph, why are you always falling for guys way out of your league? the answer to that only God knows...

it serves me right to have fallen for typical good-no0brainer guys like him. Get your heart broken over and over again. And letting yourself falling into the same old routine whenever you get your ehart broken huh,Steph? the old couch and telly, extra buttery salted popcorn and reruns of veronica mars and gilmore girls.

what if this was different? what if i take the leap, just this once to see where it will go...

"steph!!! steph!!! snap out of it!"a scrawny guy with oversized black rimmed glasses stared back at me. He's my best friend, James. Today there was something in his eyes that seemed new, confused yet sincere. It was a look i knew too well. The poor guy was in love with someone...

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

well, its another day of cleaning. so far, the house looks cleaner and neater than the usual, but let me tell u this first, i'm so lazy to change the font so it'll be like this fro a while.(: bear with me.

ok, so one thing is that i can't wait for thursday to come, why? its because we can go out!!!
okay so now its actually 4.30am while i'm writing, this taking a break from the cleaning madness. so i'm sleepy, yea u get the point. i'm rambling at 4 am what the hell am i doing up mad at a time like this.