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Monday, August 04, 2008
i missed myself tht's why i cried

one thing is for sure, thanks sweets for all that you have said just now.
i really think god sent us to meet because He has a purpose i don't really know yet.

i miss my smile. i miss my own laugh.

sometimes i just miss my old self, the one that was still sane.

i guess right now, i'm just all over the place.

my darling dauns, you guys are the best. letting it out sure had set me going. i know i just let it out by crying. and that was the first time you saw me ever cry so much. i just missed everything.

i'm missing part of my life which i've never been able to control.
my feelings. but right now, my best guess is that i'm just hiding, being a coward.
daun k-wad, said i was too kind.
what if i am? what if i put other's in front leaving myself in their dust?

daun putih said she has been observing, lately, i'm not me, my smile fake, forced. i'm sad that i have to hear these. but it's better from your mouth than from theirs.

i am.
i am all that right now.

as dauns know, we all have dauns. i don't think i want to live my sad story anymore than i have to. i'll try to stop. this i what is making me dedicated to my work. i have to, to concentrate.

yes, that is what i'll do...

concentrate.

there is just one thing.
i'm not being fully honest with you guys.
but this is one secret i have to keep. for my own good.