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Sunday, July 27, 2008
stressness!!!

"i'm a girl inside out..."or so she said.
i've got a lot of projects to finish, what a bore and what a rush....





its tiring already being in poly life, with all the projects and the common food!!!


okay so common food= to $2 nasi ayam





hehe, well happenings was the SSP clap zapin wangsa performance at khatib, and the heritage fest drama. which happened on the same day. but just different timings.





i feel missing, and lost, and somewhat second to you.





okay so that was how i felt when i was in a week of depression.


then i met syarf, oh how i missed her so much, talking to her was like talking to a therapeutic buddy. i miss erny too, so bubbly tht girl...





i let it all out. but sadly there wasn't enough time for me to talk....i wished the day was longer.








okay since i'm gonna say this out, might as well write it too, in case i don't feel like saying it anymore. erny i know u will be reading this too. smiles*





maybe this is not what love is, to let lose yourself and embrace the other.


this might sound unfathomable and hard to understand, but to me, tht is what happens.





you lose yourself, into the other but at the same time you try to embrace him, not all of him because we are blind, we only embrace what is good, but we do not see the bad....





tht is what i've gone through. nope not attached or the commitment because there wasn't any, but it felt wrong, betrayal and empty, knowing what i know.





it doesn't end there, it didn't help much of all the known people in my life, that they were the ones to pull me down. times i felt the happiest in my life came to this low in just a matter of seconds.





it's just a matter of time till i burst, but fret not, i wont show what my anger is capable of. for it is not worth my wasted seconds to die angry.





i'm not one to say it out loud, but i do write it out. express it in the form of art. anything but real words...





but now i've come to really see that maybe for once, i should let lose and say it out.


it's so much easier to be what i am than what i cannot. because i wasn't made that way, i am what i am beacause i never once was you...





i am neither pretty nor smart by nature.





i still am not. but god loves me the way i am, because he has a path for me already set, just waiting for me to choose the right path.





for we are strong and i am strong.




take it easy nas, you just need to dance it out.