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Tuesday, January 29, 2008
I'm now trying to relieve this pain inside, deep down


I'm Sorry For Everything


Deep down i know this crying is useless to do but sometimes, it just hurts....





to cry about things tht ppl cnt help. Like get mad. My mama.


I wanna sae sorry to her but i cn't seem do do so when i'm not in the wrong. My heart is swaying. I'm really sorry mama! Remember that time when you talked to mdm foong and i was hostile to you for like more than 3 days? I'm Sorry for the way i've been to you. This hurts, you treating me like i don't care.





I just wanna explain why i withdraw money. I nid to top up my handphone card, i pay my own meals, my own transport. I draw out money. All the clothes you see arn't the over the top dresses, they're cheap. You taught me to pick out cheap clothes that look expensive, you taught me how to pick the best long beans the best grapes the best material. I just wanna say thank You Mama! (but i'm still crying, cos it hurts ti know) i'm going to poly and guilty for going to such an expensive school. Poly life....





I know you support me and tell me not to worry about the $$ but i feel so burdened just to know that my siblings are going to expensive schools, RGS NUS high And Poly, i wished i chose millenia but i cnt force myself to study like i did in peirce. I refuse.





I'm scared... scared because i know you'll leave me one day. Who knows i might go first. I hate it that i love you so much. If i leave one day, don't cry alright. Be happy for my sake. I'll be happy for you. I'll be happy for Papa. When you tell me not to worry, i worry, when you tell me tht its just the beginning, i know it'll end one day.



i wana turn of the taps to these eyes but i'm afraid, i can't, because its connected to my heart - nasuha hamdi