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Saturday, May 30, 2009

hmm, progress is slow, but with my own effort, it'll be just okay. :)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

im not going to post very long because i dont feel like it. dont take it as a bad sign because im okay, i just needthis time to sort out my life. thanks

Monday, May 18, 2009

im ok.
thanks. ilyso

Sunday, May 17, 2009

which parents supports you fully in what you do, raise your hands.

i see some, but not all.
and im in that all.

honestly, if i said my passion wasn't there, i'd be lying. it was there. all along. i know not everyone from SSP is going to read this, but i know enough people will care about what will become of SSP after this. i'm hurt to leave, i'm hurt to be sorry. I love you guys for giving me a chance to show what i'm capable of. thank you for the opportunity. I'm so darn sad to be thinking of leaving. leaving all my friends behind, leaving all my fun. i dont want to. i seriously dont want to. "...just think it over..." was one of the last few words that was said to me, and i'm seriously doubting my thoughts......

"just a waste of time..."
all those tears were for you, mama.
of all the things you said to me, the worst was yesterday.
i cried in the mrt,
i cried alone,
i cried during rehearsal
i cried last on my performance.
mama, i won promising actress.
mama, my group was good.
mama, you and abah weren't there.
just when it seemed all these tears cant seem to fall anymore,it did, when i was on the train home, and even when abah talked to me.
mama, my friend is almost blind, another has cancer, another is still strong everyday for her beau is a coma.
mama, my life isn't sad i know.
and i know your not going to read this either.
when i said i wanna be a rock star
you laughed
when i said i'd win a singing competition
you laughed
when i said i'd appear on tv
you laughed me off....
i love theater, i love singing, and i love dancing the most...

but is it right for me to give in, and sacrifice something that i truly love? is it worth it in the end?
i guess the answer will always be in a standby

Friday, May 15, 2009

candied apples and bobby pins.

they seriously have no relation to each other, and that is what is the most outstanding thing of all. when things have no common relation to each other, it is the best way to actually fix it together. with devastating reactions. how awesome is that?

okay basically, i'll have to brush up on the rusted nail. give it more oil regularly and maybe i'll end up as good as new and maybe better. okay now i'm tired. 2mrs a hell of a day. and
i'm just happy that i got to skate today. nothing beats being stupidly thick skinned skating alone for the first 30 mins of my first skate training. hahaha awesomely cool? nope, more like retarded.

this is a random post which im really randomizing stuff that i randomed today.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

I'm starting to miss the old us. back when they used to ooze a shiny quality that i adore.

that gleam apparently became dull and stained. with no maintenance to polish their surfaces.
if i'm starting to drift apart, i dont mind. but i dont want to lose any of these memories i keep. :)

Monday, May 11, 2009

i was thinking, should i get a tongue piercing? i would love to

but then it might take me ages to get over a speech disability, so i might as well not get one. just my ear piercing is good enough. even though i'm not satisfied. oh damn it nas, stop thinking of a piercing.

i should be happy. happy because she has signed up for skates, (but her ollie cannot pass), she got an offer *ehem. and of course, she doesnt need a reason to smile, she just does when she wants to.

just cut it short, because i dont want my anger to get the best of me.

I'm beginning to hate trainings, it just sucks because i've too many memories to let go of.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

having a talk with dearest iffa, and meeting with min was....was probably the best break i could ever have gotten so far.

the best alone time with iffa was greatly needed after all the hectic school work. (which sadly doesnt end there) you are one of the best people in my list that i have met so far.

and it didnt help with MIN calling me a keling on the phone. bloody cb i called him. shy shy. man, grow some balls. but it was funny, making friends with this guy. a lot of bull crap im telling you.

and today went to east point mall, where today, the malay community will congregate at the sounds of anugerah. boy was there a lot of malays in one spot....

ok, so that was it, but later we're gonna celebrate the mother's day. ooh, my present isnt much but it seems to me its worth a lot. I LOVE YOU Mama, :)

and abah, wooh! ur bdae coming soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


im happy for the way things are going in my life so far, but...
now im thinking, with all these things happening, what are the chances of anything being my downfall?
good things never last long, so treasure it while it lasts,
with my nenek being sick, i'm wondering what was passed on.
maybe all this luck hasn't got anything to do with......

its just a guess.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

ahh....with the first project almost over, comes new projects waiting to be done.

its about time i realise that i cannot waste a second of my time slacking. i have to make choices now, or it may never be. i miss my best mate. and i miss hanging out with my loves. this is getting harder than i thought it would be. especially when all our hopes are low. just know i miss you guys badly.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

study hard for o levels and then we skate (:

didnt i say PMS should be abolished? yes i did. and nope, i dont want a ttm. i want friends (:

and for now, i feel like superman.

Saturday, May 02, 2009
you know why nas is a happy girl?

(apart from the KL trip during the holidays! tht was awesome)

okay, okay i know that have done so much pessimism a lot this few days but i'm having PMS. and let me tell you, pms-ing sucks big time. its when you get all moody and aggitated like nobody's business. seriously, i think the word PMS-ing should be abolished in the first place. horrible. horrible. horrible. but let me tell you something that is honestly truthfully and sincerely form the bottom of my brain right now.

i feel like giving up. washing my hands clean of something that i dont even have in my hands. can i? because if anything isnt serious, im just quitting. who am i? im just nas, a mere nobody, only a tenant in God's wonderfull world.

but u know what, being able to just skate the blues away is like so making me happy. and you know what?

i'm missing you guys a lot.

Friday, May 01, 2009

i like this song. so happy, making my day better from all this BS day. i know some of it has been very fruitfull and i cant wait to watch the final product. but for most of the time, i think im aggitated. and beginning to love malay dance is not a bad thing, it just leaves me even more confused.