SnowWhiteBlackBeau

2010-02-13T21:35:00.003+08:00

can you buy a pair of skates for me? pretty please?

i want a pair of aggressive rollerskates. so that i can start blading soon. i think in year 3, i would have more time.

SCHOOL

2010-02-03T23:33:00.001+08:00

IP2 projects are still underway and i'm still only halfway there, hw am i going to beat the time? i suck at this. take me to graphics design please.

2010-01-28T00:30:00.002+08:00

OOOM@SAM. thanks for your wonderful support. band: through the avenue, with me as guest singer. i screwed up the song a lil. nervous giler. bt nvm. im off to lalaland, where everything is perfect. almost

2010-01-25T11:08:00.002+08:00

Awesome, my old blog is up and i'm going back to blogging. at least not the daily ramblings, but just enough that this is my place to haunt. WOW! ghostly much. not.

been pretty busy with projects and such.

hectic week its hella been.
updates ltr.

2010-01-19T23:36:00.002+08:00

there is not much to blog about everyday and i get sick and tired of going to other people's blog only to have read an emo shit post.

hahaha i have anger issues i guess. but guess what?

I HAVE A PERFORMANCE ON FRIED-DAY!!!! hahahaha
its actually my friends band, i'm just in it to sing his song. hahaha
and i apparently think i dont sing tht well. needs to practice and warmup. nvr went tht high of a pitch before. usually low and safe ones.

ok i'm getting bored, even though i've just logged in to blogger just....ummm less then 5 mins ago. :P

goodbye again then

2010-01-14T00:17:00.002+08:00

love. it basically makes the world go round and round and round till one day you'd finally realise that you are dizzy and wanting to stop. but it just goes on and on and on. And soon you'd learn to adapt to it. move with it and turn with it.

2009-11-30T13:20:00.000+08:00

sleepy like a rock. a heavy rock.

the message says it all

2009-11-29T23:43:00.001+08:00

LOVE makes me SICK.

up to you to decide if its good or bad.

STUPID ME.

2009-11-21T10:13:00.004+08:00

ok well, this post is all going to be about me.

egoistic me.

you might think that i will say happy things....but the fact is, all of this seems tragic to me. oh so very tragic.

so let me put it in a boy girl situation you might understand better.
___________________________

Girl meets Boy,
Boy meets Girl,
both become friends
both left unsure of it all.

Boy tests Girl

Boy: Lets play dare! You know you can't back out la sey. This once je. i know you always change topic when it's daring time. wuss!
Girl: (laughs) OK! I'm a wuss! hahaha ok i go first! the first person you see when you open your eyes, you ask for the person's number. No matter boy or girl. Go.
___

Boy: Ok done. Easy sey! I know i hot, thts y they give me their number. (laughs)
Girl: (makes trumpet sound)
Boy: Ok-ok my turn!... Do you like me?... Like me like me?...
Girl: WHAT? i thought this was a dare?
Boy: shut up la. If you like me then give me 1 minute. if you don't then you should change your fb status to you know i know la kan, you relationship virgin.
Girl: (thinking) Until when?
Boy: Just until Sunday. That is when the magic works.
________

2009-11-18T01:35:00.001+08:00

a thought suddenly came into me," i was born into the world as a muslim, but i might not die a muslim. Only Allah (SBW) knows..."

CRUSHES

2009-11-15T11:34:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt that way to multiple people at the same time?
Yeah i'm talking about multiple crushes.
It's not easy for the emotional heart to handle you know!

The thing is, you won't know who likes you(likes you) or not, not when they are so good at hiding things from other people. I know there are these emails and posts about how to tell if a guy likes you; writen from a guys POV. You can't really trust these emails a total 100% right? Then probably there will be like a "WHAT IF..." to every question and memory that you can recall about your previous bf/gf.

Ever had that feeling? the feeling of confusion and you might not want to think about boys or girls anymore? Hahaha! Well my suggestion is to not say,"I'm done with boys/girls!" A BIG NO NO IN GENERAL!

Just let it flow. Your phase will eventually end sooner than you might think.

2009-11-12T10:38:00.002+08:00

I Iz 2 Keyoot 4 Pokemon :)

Challenges

2009-11-11T18:25:00.000+08:00

Nothing in the world is done without something in return. Yeah, the returns might be slow, but what is done is not being done with the intention of receiving something in return.

BREATHLESS

2009-11-11T00:54:00.002+08:00

your the kind of girl he runs to,
the kind of girl who catches his breath every time he sees you
and right now,
you're out of breath.

Chapter One

2009-11-09T17:06:00.002+08:00

It's not that easy, he said
Yeah, it's not that easy, she said

When you called me up saying that you meant what you said, it scared me out of my wits. It wasn't easy seeing my best friend doing this to me. Not again. Not when it happened before.

Everything was a blur, it all seemed to have happened so damned fast, too damned quickly. All I know was that the last person I saw before I blacked out was him. You, you’re the reason I cannot sleep at night. The reason why I toss and turn in bed, wishing that I had never had met this.

I don’t have much time to decide, and you don’t know. It hurts to even try to tell you how everything went. The MRI’s, the checkups, the results.

“Hey bummer!” he said.

“Hey trouble!” I replied.

“Want to get some ice-cream? I had a sudden craving for pistachio mint, whilst on the way here,”

“Sure, I’d love to get some gummy worms to go along with it!”

“I’ve got some great news to tell you! You won’t believe what just happened!”

“Oh-okay...”

As I walked next to him, I took note of what he was wearing. Anything he wears, he makes it look sophisticated. He could still throw on random clothes from his closet and still make it look 80% wearable. But, any day could be my last time standing next to him like this. Taking in his scent that I’m so used to.

“Lynn, hey...Earth to bummer-matter!...Did you hear what I was ranting on about?”

“Oh sorry, I dozed I guess,” I replied.

“Nah, it’s okay, the gist of it is that, I clinched a coffee date with Steph! Steph! Woohoo!” James replied, pumping his fist in the air. ”Score one for Troubleman!”

My heart couldn’t have plummeted further than is already had. It felt like it was sweeping the pavement full of gunk and filth. Everything that I had worked against, if failing back on me. Part of me wished that I had told him sooner...

“Congrats James, I truly am happy for you...”

Consequences

2009-11-09T06:20:00.002+08:00

It's not that easy, he said
Yeah, it's not that easy, she said

What is not easy?

To Be Continued...

DEPRIVED

2009-11-02T23:06:00.004+08:00

What is the one thing that many cannot get enough of nowdays?

Something that makes beauty queens whine if they don't have enough of it?

No. Its not BOTOX!

HALLOWEEN RAIN

2009-10-31T22:04:00.003+08:00

Happy Halloween!

Today's post is all about relieving child-hood.

As i was making my journey to meet my friends at Orchard, i was engulfed by the sight of prams and strollers! It was cuteness overload. I couldn't help but watch those small hands and small feet wriggle and twist about laughing. Parents going out with their kids and bonding. Where has this gone as we grow older? We tend to prioritise friends and others instead of family. I as a teenager, also do not doubt that i am like that. Family days has turned into shopping outings with friends instead of family. Maybe the age gap and the mindset of us teens is that, "parent's don't get it!". All that is excuses.

Our parents were once teens like us too, and you'd think they don't understand, but guess again, when they were teens too, they thought the same thing about our grandparents!

Halloween!Rain!Fun! I still remember the time when i was young, and afraid of the scary ghouls walking around Orchard road. Ohh! How i used to walk a big detour just because they started scaring me. But now, i just look to see if these ghouls are wearing Vans sneakers! I should go out in a costume too, but i'm missing the fun out because i'm right here writing this post while it is raining. I has been raining since 5 in the afternoon till now, and now it's just half past 10 in the night.

It had been ages since i actually ran in the rain. I love the feeling of the cold rain against my skin and running in the rain once in a while is relieving, especially with friends who scream like a girl as we run in the rain. The taxi queues were long and it stretched as far as my eyes could see until, well i reached the end of the line of course. People were staring at us crazy fools running in the rain. I guess they were jealous of us playing in the rain. Conservative people do not like to play in the rain because you will catch a cold after that. I however, do not like to follow rules. Just take a hot shower when you get home and change to dry clothes and keep warm it shouldn't be a problem. (*Remind me the next time i go out, i am to wear, jeans and t-shirts, because i cannot stand running in a skirt!) And after all that, it felt really good to actually had done that today...

And now, im all toasty and dry at home, wondering about......

Adios
Nas-Sue

First meetup

2009-10-30T16:37:00.003+08:00

Hey readers,

Now's the season to be au-naturale! (falalalala-lalalala). Hello all, i guess now i'm back with a vengeance. To blog a proper blog post. Or should i say, an advice column (*ahem).

So what has been going on in the latest season of fall this year. Brown tones makeup, to suit the falling leaves of autumn. Yeah baby!

Looks, beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder. Do you believe it? Do tell me your views at nasuha_hamdi@hotmail.com!

Imagine 20 years down the road after marriage, when menopause hits you, and the beer belly protudes out of your belt. Looks decieve you. When your partner is balding, would you still be saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder? I'm guessing that many of you married people, must be thinking of the other's looks when you had first met them.

Let me share my experience of meeting a guy whom i do not know for the first time. "I get butterflies in my stomach, from nervousness. I don't like that feelling very much. In fact that is the feeling which makes me want to chicken out and pray hard that i do not offend the guy. I dress like i usually do, in my baggy boyish outfit. In the end, we'd always end up being good friends, because i'm like one of his buddies..." I realised that my very first intention of meeting him was wrong. i was expecting fireworks, even though i know that they probably want a demure petite girl, and i'm not what they expect. I guess it went the same vice versa?

And if i haven't mentioned, I used to be all, "ooh, isn't that guy cute", and that is what we call, superficial. But then i realised that i wouldn't be able to get any guy like that, because they won't go for girls like me. Yeah, that's right, what a pessimist! But once i got used to being a single lady, i'm starting to like my freedom, without having to please anyone but myself.

So all in all, it's just looks IS in the eye of the beholder. What i percieve to be cute isn't what other's seem to be cute. But if our intentions of becoming friends is sincere, then i guess you wouldn't have any problems making more. That is it for today! Do drop me a reply about this topic, "Looks is in the eye of the beholder", and leave me your first meeting stories.

Adios!
by Nas-sue

ornaments

2009-10-28T10:33:00.002+08:00

hey, i't has been awhile since i've blogged right? ok, i guess tht needs a major correction. i hvnt been blogging properly for a while. so i'm not going to blog properly yet.
put everything in a jar filled with oil. and place a yatch in it so that i can float around in it. hitting the walls as you swivel me around trying to drown me in my boat. but alas, you cannot, for science has defeated you.

ok. it. ended. already.

2009-10-14T02:19:00.000+08:00

DUST COLLECTION

2009-10-10T12:10:00.002+08:00

basically, i have nothing to post.

but if any ssp-ian comes in to check out on this dusty blog of mine, i'd like to say, lets make this musikaraya work! insyallah everything will go fine.

i think that is about it.

2009-09-24T23:33:00.003+08:00

ok, i have decided, that i want to buy new skates and a saxaphone. however, the saxaphone might have to wait until i am probably 20. since its quite costly. and getting a used one also is quite costly. at least if i can play the sax, i can you know, jazz. prolly buy some books and watch some vids on both.

its all about the i wants.... pfft

NOT JUSTIFIED

2009-09-07T00:27:00.002+08:00

JUST A STRANGER TO YOU

finally blogger is back to normal. for me. :)

the things i thought wrong about you
seems right just about now
somehow the person that i knew
died alongside my conspiracy

i should've trusted my conscience
run away from it
but all i did was stand there
holding it

in the end i burnt
a hole in my heart
a hole in my pocket
a hole through my head

2009-09-05T19:04:00.001+08:00

when you have nothing much to say anymore
keep quiet for nothing good ever comes out of it.
when you realised that it has been too long since you have shed a tear
you are hiding something from yourself
it is only then that i realise that
i am that of a recluse

maybe keeping quiet has its reasons, i dont know what else to talk anymore
it gets tired
the world tells me its tired
so she and i close everything of the world
because they choose not to tell us a thing,
not until everyone around us knows
except us.

2009-08-28T20:04:00.000+08:00

i guess i never realised how much you have never left my life.
and for that i thank you.
i will never forget the way you smell good and delicious everyday.
i hope i never forget the way i used to find that scent in the stores.
i would never forget the day i thought u were behind me but all that was was just someone else with the same scent.
and that was just your smell that lingers in my nose.
you.

2009-08-24T11:55:00.001+08:00

thanks to bloc party for keeping me company throughout the weekend.
thanks to snacks that keep me satisfied and quite all night long alone.
thanks to sofi for giving me all the old school songs located on youtube.
thanks to anthony(even though he dnt know) for introducing me to mgmt.
thanks to mama for giving me the cold shoulder. nyeh.
everything i do is wrong.

but thanks mostly to god, for making me calm down and not freak out about submission hour even though i did a lot of last min work. :)

SCOOT OVER THE SEAT COVER

2009-08-19T23:11:00.000+08:00

leaving me high and dry, thats is all they do. that is why i fear going down that particular road. i dont like it. it makes me unhappy and depressed. maybe all this while, that feeling has been fuel to my existence. my motivation to move out of the phase and carry on living a life i want. a life that is not affected by all these bullshit. but sadly i realise that i cannot run away from it anymore. it will haunt me when i'm 50 years old, saggy and still unmarried. who knows. sometimes, i take what life throws at me, but sometimes breathing it in is just too hard to go through the system.

2009-08-19T18:50:00.002+08:00

if i ever get desperate, slap me out of my wits ends.
if i ever tell you that you are a fucker, i mean it.
for every time i call you that, it breaks my heart that you have betrayed my thought.
for i had trusted you so with all i had.

and then you came crashing back on me.
invading all personal spaces and breaking all promises.

(ps: i suddenly decided to write this, in case i forget the words)

2009-08-10T21:39:00.001+08:00

What is beautiful, yet cannot be touched?

What is always there, but never really around?

What is it that makes you smile, yet no one truly understands?

What is it that makes it beautiful?

2009-08-09T01:12:00.002+08:00

hey, ive just completed umm....

what did i complete anyway?
but i want to thank all my friends for coming down to support me :) sayang korang sumer tau!
jenny, it means i love you all you know. hahahaha

i will post the pics maybe later or smth, idk, my mood depends on my projects nowdays. and today was a rough day. but canlaha.

hahahaha go go jia you my nameless band!!!

Sleepless Nights

2009-07-20T16:22:00.003+08:00

As you lay across the grass beside me, Held my hand as we gazed at the stars.You told me everything that you felt.Your anger,Your passion, To your undeserving friends.

I felt so sure that even though i didnt feel that way, you'd always be there, right there beside me. It is not the end, you whispered those words to me. Hopeful. Deep down i was hopeful.

You were the first to change me. Of my ways that i were once afraid off. I took a step forward, and you were always one step ahead. I said that i feared it. You said i didnt have to.

Open up to something new and you'd see everything else in a new light. And with that i took a leap to the unknown.

2009-07-16T20:35:00.002+08:00

i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore. i should not spend anymore.

i guess its about time to start saving up....

RING RING

2009-07-14T03:19:00.002+08:00

your a sneaky bastard. :)
gosh, what'd I'd do just to hear you again w/o seeing you.
like i said, your voice is like a drug
so can i marry your voice in 10 years time?

nah, most probably not :)

2009-07-10T02:20:00.002+08:00

i realise that this is my 345th post. and that is quite a feat for me, considering that i hate blogging.
too much filterage

i dont want the world to see my cry, for as long as i lived i had died.
to much hate,stress,love that dont exist anymore.
for man enveloped in his own coat of selfishness
what'd you say?
heal the pain?
wht'd you say?
it's not important?

i long to see what the world really means to me
i long to hear the voices in my head i wanna hear
i hope and pray, that all those things i got to say
would be said, if not now
then it would be too late.

2009-07-06T09:47:00.000+08:00

fuck you

nothing i cant handle, yeah right

2009-07-05T22:39:00.002+08:00

i have a fear.
and it is
Philophobia.

2009-07-05T21:56:00.002+08:00

If i told you something, you would not believe me for sure. If i were to speak of nothing, you would ask me for sure. I get confused, i get thinking, of everything that i can get my mind to wrap on. for saying those words made me realise how much shit i am in.

not just smack talk

2009-07-04T22:50:00.002+08:00

i want to heal the world.
or try to in fact.

but saying this means empty words without meaning.
its just big talking.

People,to be happy is in fact trying to get to love yourselves. it is not easy, yes i know that because we all seem to have weaknesses that we know or may not know about. this affects our self esteem. it is certain that when people do not love themsleves they are always trying to find other means and ways to fit. but others do it to cover their problems.

i dont know my weakness yet. but i know who knows.and i hope that i will never grow a black heart.

WHAT I KNOW....

2009-07-04T10:24:00.004+08:00

what i know about the opposite sex so far:

they are males who have real balls but dont have balls to prove it.
they want the girl to make the first move because they dont have balls
they talk in tongue twister, hoping that the girl would understand what they want
they like to be flattered very much
they have different types of people,( the ones who chase after chiobu-meirenyu-hotchicks, the one who doesnt care about all those, and the vain types chauvinistic)
MOST IMPT, guys find girls complicated

what i know about the same sex so far:

they like to have real balls but dont have the real balls to show.
they would like the guy to make the first move, but in this world, they make it.
they understand their tongue twisters and read between the lines, but just to make sure they ask again what their intentions were
they like to be flattered, however deny anything said about them is true
they also have different types of people,( look out for hotties, and those who doesnt care because they think they not pretty enough to get guys anyway)
MOST IMPT, girls find guys complicated

want to know more about my thoughts to things, do drop me a tag or comment, i'd be glad to ans. ;)

hahaha!

2009-07-02T00:56:00.001+08:00

i have nothing to blog about.

2009-06-29T13:45:00.001+08:00

wild thing, you make my heart sing, you make everything groovy!

2009-06-28T11:25:00.001+08:00

what?

2009-06-26T16:47:00.002+08:00

i pretty sure people are going to blog about King of POP's death.

but im actually glad that he has passed on. after suffering for so long. my idol since i was 4. i loved his music. i remembered dancing to his songs when it aired on tv, the earth song? i used to immitate that. he was my first music influence. and he would be until the end. :)

lets send him a well wish goodbye, from a human to another human, he is a wonderful soul.
Jackson 5
Michael J.

andback to the arms of God

SHUT YOUR EARS FROM THE WORLD

2009-06-22T22:25:00.001+08:00

SHUT UP NAS.

2009-06-22T22:22:00.000+08:00

2009-06-21T22:38:00.002+08:00

how can someone so small be filled with such anger. like chilli padi, small but hot.

that is how i felt when my mother didnt allow me to dance anymore. said it's not my job. fuck.
dont they know its all i got for entertainment? my fun is joy within dance. first you said i wont support you in acting, then you said you wont let me dance at weddings anymore then what is ther to do? next thing you know im in a band, and you wont let me sing, thats how it goes, you say and i dont do. it keeps me burning. well dont you want to know how i screwed up dance? do you? no you obviously dont. so dont give me crap about you have been to school too, because i am in one, and i know im not neglecting my studies. money matters 140 yeah big amount to fork out, but like i said its paid back. dont you get it? its paid back.

AHHHHH!!! i feel like fuck.
and im sure going to hell for this.
mengucaplah nasuha.tenangkan lah hati.

2009-06-19T03:56:00.000+08:00

THINKING OF YOU

2009-06-15T02:22:00.001+08:00

OCCU-RANT-ES

2009-06-07T14:19:00.004+08:00

somehow, everythings gonna fall right into place,
we wont make it go away...

and that's how it goes. well, nothing interesting has come my way so far, and that is just it. but somehow, being afraid is what lies deep down inside me. im taken aback by the sudden insurgence of unwanted things, like falling back into that depression, but somehow this empty next to nothing feeling is somewhat familliar yet annoying. THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN.

it has happened before. and that is what im unknown to. just what had happened?

no one's online apparently, well no one who i want to ask qns from, and no replies or sms-es.
AM I SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS????seriously, if it wasnt just my pms-ing i'd have just given up and not gone, i wanna ask about stuff, but HELLO HELLO is anyone home?

i guess being me has its perks. get it?
so bite me.

2009-06-01T02:21:00.002+08:00

when all else fails, just dont think that you can run back up to me. because im not standing there anymore, waiting.

moving along.

maybe that is all i need to just move on, no more stopping, no more thinking, i've let go, and in the slightest mistake i make, i'll pick myself up again. maybe that's the ending of my fairytale end. just maybe

2009-05-30T11:57:00.000+08:00

hmm, progress is slow, but with my own effort, it'll be just okay. :)

2009-05-27T14:04:00.001+08:00

im not going to post very long because i dont feel like it. dont take it as a bad sign because im okay, i just needthis time to sort out my life. thanks

2009-05-18T21:28:00.002+08:00

im ok.
thanks. ilyso

2009-05-17T12:50:00.002+08:00

which parents supports you fully in what you do, raise your hands.

i see some, but not all.
and im in that all.

honestly, if i said my passion wasn't there, i'd be lying. it was there. all along. i know not everyone from SSP is going to read this, but i know enough people will care about what will become of SSP after this. i'm hurt to leave, i'm hurt to be sorry. I love you guys for giving me a chance to show what i'm capable of. thank you for the opportunity. I'm so darn sad to be thinking of leaving. leaving all my friends behind, leaving all my fun. i dont want to. i seriously dont want to. "...just think it over..." was one of the last few words that was said to me, and i'm seriously doubting my thoughts......

"just a waste of time..."
all those tears were for you, mama.
of all the things you said to me, the worst was yesterday.
i cried in the mrt,
i cried alone,
i cried during rehearsal
i cried last on my performance.
mama, i won promising actress.
mama, my group was good.
mama, you and abah weren't there.
just when it seemed all these tears cant seem to fall anymore,it did, when i was on the train home, and even when abah talked to me.
mama, my friend is almost blind, another has cancer, another is still strong everyday for her beau is a coma.
mama, my life isn't sad i know.
and i know your not going to read this either.
when i said i wanna be a rock star
you laughed
when i said i'd win a singing competition
you laughed
when i said i'd appear on tv
you laughed me off....
i love theater, i love singing, and i love dancing the most...

but is it right for me to give in, and sacrifice something that i truly love? is it worth it in the end?
i guess the answer will always be in a standby

2009-05-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

candied apples and bobby pins.

they seriously have no relation to each other, and that is what is the most outstanding thing of all. when things have no common relation to each other, it is the best way to actually fix it together. with devastating reactions. how awesome is that?

okay basically, i'll have to brush up on the rusted nail. give it more oil regularly and maybe i'll end up as good as new and maybe better. okay now i'm tired. 2mrs a hell of a day. and
i'm just happy that i got to skate today. nothing beats being stupidly thick skinned skating alone for the first 30 mins of my first skate training. hahaha awesomely cool? nope, more like retarded.

this is a random post which im really randomizing stuff that i randomed today.

2009-05-14T00:33:00.002+08:00

I'm starting to miss the old us. back when they used to ooze a shiny quality that i adore.

that gleam apparently became dull and stained. with no maintenance to polish their surfaces.
if i'm starting to drift apart, i dont mind. but i dont want to lose any of these memories i keep. :)

2009-05-11T23:15:00.004+08:00

i was thinking, should i get a tongue piercing? i would love to

but then it might take me ages to get over a speech disability, so i might as well not get one. just my ear piercing is good enough. even though i'm not satisfied. oh damn it nas, stop thinking of a piercing.

i should be happy. happy because she has signed up for skates, (but her ollie cannot pass), she got an offer *ehem. and of course, she doesnt need a reason to smile, she just does when she wants to.

just cut it short, because i dont want my anger to get the best of me.

I'm beginning to hate trainings, it just sucks because i've too many memories to let go of.

2009-05-09T17:14:00.002+08:00

having a talk with dearest iffa, and meeting with min was....was probably the best break i could ever have gotten so far.

the best alone time with iffa was greatly needed after all the hectic school work. (which sadly doesnt end there) you are one of the best people in my list that i have met so far.

and it didnt help with MIN calling me a keling on the phone. bloody cb i called him. shy shy. man, grow some balls. but it was funny, making friends with this guy. a lot of bull crap im telling you.

and today went to east point mall, where today, the malay community will congregate at the sounds of anugerah. boy was there a lot of malays in one spot....

ok, so that was it, but later we're gonna celebrate the mother's day. ooh, my present isnt much but it seems to me its worth a lot. I LOVE YOU Mama, :)

and abah, wooh! ur bdae coming soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stronger

2009-05-09T08:26:00.002+08:00

im happy for the way things are going in my life so far, but...
now im thinking, with all these things happening, what are the chances of anything being my downfall?
good things never last long, so treasure it while it lasts,
with my nenek being sick, i'm wondering what was passed on.
maybe all this luck hasn't got anything to do with......

its just a guess.

2009-05-07T00:44:00.003+08:00

ahh....with the first project almost over, comes new projects waiting to be done.

its about time i realise that i cannot waste a second of my time slacking. i have to make choices now, or it may never be. i miss my best mate. and i miss hanging out with my loves. this is getting harder than i thought it would be. especially when all our hopes are low. just know i miss you guys badly.

2009-05-03T18:13:00.002+08:00

study hard for o levels and then we skate (:

didnt i say PMS should be abolished? yes i did. and nope, i dont want a ttm. i want friends (:

and for now, i feel like superman.

you know why nas is a happy girl?

2009-05-02T21:37:00.002+08:00

ITS BECAUSE SHE IS HAVING THE BEST WEEKEND
(apart from the KL trip during the holidays! tht was awesome)

okay, okay i know that have done so much pessimism a lot this few days but i'm having PMS. and let me tell you, pms-ing sucks big time. its when you get all moody and aggitated like nobody's business. seriously, i think the word PMS-ing should be abolished in the first place. horrible. horrible. horrible. but let me tell you something that is honestly truthfully and sincerely form the bottom of my brain right now.

i feel like giving up. washing my hands clean of something that i dont even have in my hands. can i? because if anything isnt serious, im just quitting. who am i? im just nas, a mere nobody, only a tenant in God's wonderfull world.

but u know what, being able to just skate the blues away is like so making me happy. and you know what?

i'm missing you guys a lot.

2009-05-01T22:46:00.002+08:00

i like this song. so happy, making my day better from all this BS day. i know some of it has been very fruitfull and i cant wait to watch the final product. but for most of the time, i think im aggitated. and beginning to love malay dance is not a bad thing, it just leaves me even more confused.

2009-04-28T23:39:00.001+08:00

UPDATED! (:

2009-04-25T17:20:00.002+08:00

HEY! I AM IN TROUBLE!!!

I AM IN LOVE WITH GABE

NOT GRADUATED GABE FAR!

GABE BONDOC!

2009-04-23T00:33:00.002+08:00

okay, this post is dedicated to a few people. dont get mad at me if i dont mention you. its not that ur forgotten, its just that these people need the moral support they need.

iffa.
i know you can do it. do this directing to the best of your ability. i dont want people to think that your not capable of doing things that you can reach. smile okay. loves (:

lena.
i dont know whats up with you lately, but i know that you have angry-hate issues. lets just say, we should pray. and hope for the best that you get through this okay. like i tagged u just now.(translated: God does not thrust upon you what you cant handle. He is always fair. Treat this as an obstacle)

luna.
dont stress up. its not good hahaha even though i know ur nt stressing...YET

week-ness

2009-04-19T18:26:00.002+08:00

it's not everyday you face with the toughest decision and having to put differences aside.

like i am doing. but i can't control my temper sometimes. it gets hard for me to tolerate things. i get frustrated. and when i'm frustrated i'm definitely angry.

see that is my weakness. so have you found out yours?

2009-04-18T00:10:00.002+08:00

oh, girls, im over him, like totally. (:

and thts the news of the day

hehe. okay so thats the news. and of course i love going trainings. being with friends, but i hate going home late. it leaves me less time to meet mama and abah, and of course whenever i have fun out, i am guilt stricken when i come back home... it always had to be that way isn't it.

but 2mr i'm not going anywhere far, im just going to the hardcourt nearby to practice skate. well, i might go to school to skate or something, but i just need to be close to home right now. ooh damned it sucks. and i miss syarf. i miss the unglam days we have!!!! yeah, the we-dont-care-how-we-look-likw attitude! and i have a tummy ache now. BOO!! time to learn a new trick nas-sue, you need to learn 3 kick tricks by one year. lets see if i achieve that goal. ok. seeing iqmal land his tricks is enough to make me break my own deck, but what are the chances i might get good? slim, but there is still hope. (:

and iffa, im happy for you and wan.

and im not jealous that God, is everyones boyfriend. because he loves us all the same.

2009-04-17T11:46:00.002+08:00

im a happy bugger!

oh and i love ABE!

haha i know, random. and i still dont like the word ABE, BE sounds way nicer. :P

TOUGH

2009-04-15T11:44:00.001+08:00

help me decide.
to meet him or not to meet him?

tag me at the tagboard. i cant decide.

2009-04-14T01:03:00.001+08:00

dush dak dush dak dush dak dush dak.
a beats stuck in my head, but i cant decipher what it is.

"it's morse code u asshole!"

I WISH U A BIG FAT

2009-04-13T09:53:00.003+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS!

to all those people who have couple-ised and are being with someone they love/like/cinta/sayang/darling/etc. i sincerely give my congrats and wish you all the best in the upcoming relationship. Insyallah it will last. and i'll give my support. i'll try anyway.

and i realised something, that April 09 is the mood for love.
April 09 is the mood for romance.
April 09 is the season of heartbreaks
April 09 is the season of tears and smiles all mashed up in 30 days.

beyond this point is not for the weak.

I"LL LEARN TO SHUT MY MOUTH. and i wont say whats in my head right now, because you wont like it......

SUPERMAN-ed

2009-04-13T00:01:00.002+08:00

i'm counting the days as i'm going back to school. i dread staying at home. but then again, my holidays aren't holidays anyway. transit form school to home, and back again has almost become the daily routine for the holidays. like hazah said, " kau macam pergi 7 weeks camp". true enough i seem to always be in school. but thankfully, there is great company who i'll see in school. and they are the people i love to hang out with. i'm not sure where i'll be later on without SSP. im thinking of getting away, but can i do that? my heart forcefully tells me not to, because then i'd be a disappointment.

but then again, dance is part of me. i've been doing it for longer than i can remember. but im missing skate more than anything right now. not being able to go out and do something is has been the awfullest time im having. im getting fidgety and restless sitting down. even while blogging now, it seems like my arse is telling me to fart and blast off into the sky. Just like Thunder pants.

speaking about the sky. i changed the blog banner.

"he's Superman, but he's just Clark....how can one be a saviour, whilst deep inside be a broken heart"

think about it, he's in love with Lois Lane, but it seems like Lois Lane doesnt see him. She doesnt notice him when he's just Clark. Lois Lane is in love with Superman. Clark is just invisible....and so am i.
I have the right to bleed. and right now i've bled dry. so i'm learning to fill up. (:

FEAR

2009-04-12T15:49:00.001+08:00

i gotta get rid of my fear of dropping in. and ramps. i gotta try harder.

2009-04-12T00:29:00.001+08:00

im happier. and i guess i'll have to learn to shut my mouth.

2009-04-10T13:58:00.003+08:00

GET WELL SOON.
bee-yatch

THE WAITING LIST GOES ON

2009-04-09T13:01:00.004+08:00

there i did it, i fucking did it.

i'd be there for you when your in need for me,

but will you be there when i'm in need of you?

i guess the answer still a stand by.

JUST LIKE APPLE CRUMBLE

2009-04-07T00:04:00.003+08:00

"looking? i'm not looking because they don't look"
"but i am looking. looking for you"

Oh fuck, can it get any worser? i'm at my wits end, trying to forget whatever i felt for you. and now you come back into my life saying that you like me. i'm trying not to be gullible here, but i'm glad you said that. that part of me wanted to just tell you that i feel the same. but im not glad, because i don't want to be a rebound girl. i know you probably think that your not the best for me, but to me, that feeling would suffice. when you asked if i was going there, i said i didnt have time. it was all to avoid you. i'm just sorry.

& i kept asking if it was an april fools joke, even though i know april fools is only on the 1st of april. but its still april. and jokes and pranks go on year round. and i kept asking it it was really you im talking to. and you said " i swear, why won't you believe me".

you sounded so sad.

fuck.

i broke down.

please just dont.

A BIG FAT...

2009-04-05T13:00:00.002+08:00

HEY!

and I'm back with a greater vengeance, seriously. this time, it's to get my voice back. darn it, i just hope my voice doesn't stay this way because it so doesn't suit me. or may be yes? who knows yeah, someone might just love this raspy voice of mine. :)

been seriously busy with TRAININGS. which most of us, get scolded for by our parents. but hey i don't mind the scoldings. because I'm going to have a huge break after this. YEAH! so looking forward to it. But firstly, we all cubs would like to thank Reyza, for all the hard work that he has given towards all this, i know we may be a huge handful to handle, but don't give up on us just yet. we'll make it, we'll pull it through. right CUBS!!! we can make it. like we already did with nusa...

and you guys know what, i miss haddad being here with us during trainings. and i know u do to.

lao sai

2009-03-31T00:00:00.002+08:00

truck loads of bullshit. i'm having a ball of a time. damn it.

CAMP FEVER

2009-03-29T17:40:00.002+08:00

well, it's been almost a week since i was gone. and it's going to be another harder week for things to come.

i might have PMS or something, but something just not right. i know i can get irritated easily, but what i feel like the worst has yet to come. i left the camp a few hours earlier as i had urgent matters to attend to and i was a day late. but on the journey home, i was accompanied by Mel, Nura, Is, Ah long, and a pack of poker cards. haha, went to kusu island then back to Singapore. talking about people during camp. and also the best part was that we got to know ourselves much better. haha hints hints. (not that kind! you dirty minded people! wash ur brains please) and Mel is waiting for her admin to RP which is sad because we wont see her often anymore.

and i'm having the case of camp withdrawal syndrome.

guess who i was partnered with?
haha I LOVE JOKER! haha, i hope you guys have bonded better together and will always remember khalis and me. awsome performance during campfire you guys! rest well.

CLOSER

2009-03-21T12:28:00.004+08:00

BELLA. new friend. skate buddy. :)

good luck with ur mum, win her over!

like im doing with mine. :)

it's not easy to leave behind something. especially when it is something close to me.

when i feel like i'm losing, i close my eyes and breathe slow. i count to ten. i recollect.

but when i close my eyes, in that ten seconds, i wished i had the courage to face you.

and tell you what i really feel. sometimes it just sucks to be a coward.

but you have someone already in your heart. who you can't let go.

that leaves me with a choice. if i want to be the rebound girl.

and i dont want to.

right this second

2009-03-20T12:45:00.000+08:00

MIXED FEELINGS SUCK!

2009-03-19T13:48:00.002+08:00

spacey.
that is what im doing.
cleaning my room, and feeling spacey.

im like on collagen mask right now, thinking what i should do next.....

but did i tell you i got new shoes?
they are AWESOME!!!

2009-03-18T22:30:00.001+08:00

GPA: 3.96
happy as hell.
i love it.

LOVES & MISSES

2009-03-17T18:04:00.003+08:00

it's nice being back in my hometown Singapore,
i really missed the safe and secured feeling when in here. it just is too different elsewhere. maybe that is what you call being a singaporean. it's not the wearing red on national day that makes us patriotic, it what you feel for it.

man,i'm getting way deep into it arn't i.
but getting a great night view of KL twin towers and the Menara KL is beautiful.
but it leaves me with a knot in my stomach. a pang of nostalgia hitting me all at once.
i missed spending time with the beloved family, and when we do, it gets so hard on, sometimes we live separated lifes.

static frenzied tv programmes
complementary bath soaps, breakfast buffets, multiple train services and cheap bargains, are a dime in a dozen in my dictionary, well, in my current dictionary of Travel Holidays.

i'm beat from the walking. but i must say, it feels like singapore, but 10 years back.

but missing someone was the worst feeling i ever got. and missing that someone just isn't worth it. even more so i don't know you, makes you an even more bigger exclamation mark to the word infactuation. even though there was no you and i in the first place, i swear this feeling is just a punishment, even this moment in time, i feel so stupid and naive to have fallen for someone like you, because the worst feeling was for me to have actually missed you in the end. -nas

2009-03-12T23:41:00.002+08:00

Even if i was a girl, you'd still think of me as a boy.

so might as well be like one.

JUST SCRAP THIS FAKE-SHIT MAKEUP, IT's UGLY.

mad city vibes

2009-03-12T00:12:00.003+08:00

11th APRIL.

12 noon,

hort park/esplanade/memorial.

THEME: MAD city vibes,

bold makeup, outrageous personalities.

it is a photoshoot for all willing parties to let loose.

a ticket stub for memories sake will be given.

photo's will be taken

SO DRESS YOUR BEST.

JUST ONCE PLEASE

2009-03-09T22:08:00.002+08:00

ghost for a day.

my mum looked at me like i was crazy.

didnt get to skate today, got messed up by the rain, but well, at least it is still worthwhile at home. i know rain is a blessing but why does it dampen the mood so? it's crazy. but still, walking in the rain, with the raindrops on my face made me realise that, i need to craze my life out, life is harsh, but so is reality.

ps; you just confirmed that i was one of you. and that sucked.

2009-03-08T19:09:00.003+08:00

ok, i'm back from BE camp.

GOD, honestly, it was fun. to have met so many people i dont know.
my thighs is sore from the duck walk and malay dance the previous days, but overall, woo. dont want to say anymore, too...

and thanks Dee for the AWESOME makeup!
and thanks Zara for being the husband....
and thanks Haziqah, for being in BE camp.

THANKS ALL, i really loved the camp, even though howevere slack it was, it was because we were all lazy-bums, haha. we'll kick it up a notch! DURING FOC!!

not giving it.

2009-03-02T23:35:00.003+08:00

it's like getting a new life and living a double at the same time.

yes being me, it seems like i live a double life.
the one at home, and the one outside.
oooo...i could be the next james bond. i could be a girl bond, and i could have all the hot men in the world, hahaha, well, if daniel craig can be a blonde bond, why cant a girl. well it is a dream isnt it.
but i'm gonna start relearning skate, cos i feel at least it can give me somthing dangerous to live about.....

GRRRR....

2009-02-23T00:53:00.002+08:00

BAD CASE OF THE PMS

HONESTLY, CAN A GIRL GET SOME PEACE AND QUIET?

OKAY, so there the story goes, the bad case of the PMS attacked girl. well, not exactly, but close enough. firstly, she hates being bored, she loves money, she loves making money, and then....she hates being a 'trash can.' her definintion of trash can, means that people forcing her to stuff food ito her belly when everyone else refuses to finish up the food, and she obliges, not wanting to waste the food and it being thrown away. she hates it because she wants to lose weight and keep herself from getting any bigger, but unfroetunately her family doesnt get it dont they. they think that she is the ugliest thing they have ever seen and of course the stupidest of all, given the fact that she doesn't do well in school. then she storms up to me, and rips out the pages in my hands now, forcing me to stop writing about her........

okay so i had to end it somewhere, or else i might have ranted about my past for a vey long time. and even tht gets a little boring.

i hate being a trash can.

and there is no checklist today.

2009-02-19T22:35:00.002+08:00

ok checklist first.

gym.

thats it.

______

you know, seeing people on face book reminds me of what i'm not. and it bores me to know that i can't be like that. okay just this once, i am ENVIOUS of interesting people. and to some extent i am interesting, but guess what, i don't think i am that interesting. and i hate it. but i can't be someone else right, i mean that is so not me, not the nas you all know. bah, hateness! i hate it.

im gonna do something cool during this march, other than the fit march thing. i'm going to open up a photoshoot session, finish painting my mural on the wall,( lets see if i can) and be myself! scrapping all the things i dont want to do and thinking of the future.

ok.
ready.
set.
finished.

O-K!

2009-02-18T21:25:00.004+08:00

checklist.
5bmx-es
kickboxing
skipping
jogging
hula-ing
dancing

okay that is what i did! im lazy to blog anything, just for you to check is fine...

LET THE GOALS BEGIN!

2009-02-17T20:32:00.003+08:00

WHOA, STOP RIGHT THERE!

who said that?
it must be...

well, that is the reason why im doing this, lets see.
it's because i get teased a lot about it when i was young.
and i still am now, and i chased people from the track team last time for calling me that.
but i dont do that now. hah, maybe thats why i'm doing it.

okay, if you still dont get what im talking about, im talking about losing weight and toning up my body. hell yeah! im gonna do it! but firstly i want you guys to make sure i dont falter half way and give up completely. so i'm gonna do a checklist and post it up on this blog, and the theme for this month is
"LIVING THE HEALTHIER MARCH"

SOUNDS OKAY?
it sounds good to me!

so let the checking begin!!

5 bmx-es (heel raise, crunches+ punches to the stomachs as said by akif, push ups, jumping jacks, leg lifts) x15x5sets
skipping
swimming( once fortnightly)
kicks and punches
brisk walking (because i hate running)
dance practice (once a week)
cycling( woo! when we go east coast)

OKAY, SO HELP ME CHECK OKAY, I NEED TO STICK WITH IT. :)
then i will tell you my weight and such. and the after march weight.

REWIND

2009-02-14T00:31:00.002+08:00

so, everything is perfect don't you see.
it's like everything is in place.
can you hear my scream.

because i'm telling you a lie.
hints, for someones.

2009-02-10T21:56:00.001+08:00

im nt here anymore, im at class doing things i should be doing. okay this post is for thursday

tangled web we spin

2009-02-09T13:57:00.004+08:00

hey, there once again, it's been a really long time since i've been here, droping by just to say hello seems like a difficult task right now, with all the time in the world, but no empty space to fill.
okay i think you might not understand what i'm actually saying. because here between me and you, i don't even know what i'm saying.

let me guess, you have problems too? so do i.
we all have problems in this world, none can comprehend the amount of stress we deal under, but recently, i thank my luck and hard work for bringing me all this small joyfuls in life, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how life seems like it's against you, you always know that it will get better somehow.
to nad, maybe life is unfair right now to you, but you will always know, you can punch me in the face, and i'll take the blow fully, but not before you tell me what is really hidden behind you, everyone has secrets, everyone will have their breaking point. trust me, i've been to the breaking point once and i think i'm pathetic.

let me list down all the pathetic-ness i've felt throughout the year,
-no boyfriends for the whole of my entire life
-never been the top scorer of anything
-dissappoint my parents in everything i do
-felt like shit
-lost friends i loved.
-gave up on myself at one point.
-did i mention i was pathetic?

okay since all my air has cleared, now i'll list down all the blessings that i've gotten.
-got into landscape architechture
-run a small business on my own
-achieved many great things
-realised that i can do it
-revived myself from the shit phase
-and had good times, and memories through the rough times we overcame

and that is the best part of my life, but one thing i regret now....

is that i never spent enough time with my family.

2009-02-05T21:37:00.004+08:00

i miss everyone right now. being crazy doesn't help much. hah! nas speak for yourself, you have been like a mad woman once critic was over dumbass!

hah see what did i tell you, being crazy doen't help much , it only makes you feel sane. (:
what do i do now?

i'm telling you now, that i don't have a proper life now.
it gets boring once project is over, but my life doesn't neccessary have to revolve around projects.
i miss syarf, because i didn't attend her birthday dinner. i'll make it up to you next time, we'll have the best day of the day we have so far.

a little shoutout for athira, happy birthday girl! we love you and you know that.
hope u liked the 'hair dye' we gave ya!
and the rest of course.

i feel like being on hiatus for a little while but time does not allow me so, so does reality.
on other hand being busy with the blogshop and taking orders is making me happy, i'm happy because my friends have come to support me so, and thanks to them. (:
(ps. i know what your gonna say, ;get a life and stop obsessing on your blogshop and money!)

okay i get it, it's time to find something new to stat with. and i think i know just the thing.